Dear Seekers, and Millionaire’s – here is an online dating profile evaluation for your review. I was asked to do this by a member, and wanted to share how particular statements can either get you noticed or ignored.
“E” saw my (Zorah’s) profile and felt compelled to write. (What is notable is that he is paying enough attention to notice he is not getting any play, and he asked my advice.) See how it went below:
First Intro email:
E: Well, your profile is interesting, particularly the part where you refer to yourself as a muse. I’m curious about your profession, I could copy/paste your career description into my profile, so we have that in common, but I’m wondering which of those you spend the bulk of your time on.
The rest you’ve left a mystery, and since I’m a guy, my curiosity re: your looks etc. got me hooked into writing you.
I’d love to know a little more, so if you’re genuinely interested in learning about me as well, drop me line and we’ll go from there.
(Zorah looks at E’s profile and leaves. She goes back to his note and notices something in particular: “curious about your profession, I could copy/paste your career description into my profile, so we have that in common, but” What does this mean? What is mine is yours, yours is mine, you could be me? It seems very presumptuous. Zorah moves on…)
E: Saw that you looked but didn’t write. I’ve been getting that a lot lately… Is there something in about my profile that puts women off…?
Zorah takes a more careful look at the profile:
Part of E’s Profile follows:
I highly value personal growth and transformation and am passionate about creating innovative solutions that make a difference in the world. I’m very excited to be working on a project right now that will bring a low cost solar panel technology to the West Coast so that more people can enjoy the benefit of low cost electricity.
(Zorah: This is way too wordy and contrived.)
I’ve spent most of my time over the last few years working with businesspeople, entrepreneurs and employees to help them LIVE the lives that they’ve always wanted but never thought to be possible. I’m so glad to have done that, but now I’m ready to focus more on MY passions! I’m inspired by the idea of renewable energy, so have decided to earn my mechanical engineering degree, and am currently enrolled (yes, I’m a 41 year old freshman) and taking classes toward that end.
(Zorah: It is clear you think you are wonderful, but it’s also clear women don’t. Your profile is too salesmanship-y. Also, if you are going to school with women of the age you state you are looking for in your profile, or younger …. why don’t you get one there?)
Zorah: Yes you are going about this the wrong way, or perhaps this is really what you want, but here is a quick low down-
1. You are 41, you may be wealthy but you seem to be in transition – women want stability
2. Though you do not say you want children; you clearly want women of child-bearing age but not for marriage (family). Do you or don’t you want children, or do you just want to use women’s most vital years? Sorry but this is not a good sign and most smart woman in that age category will blow you off (and not in the way you may be looking for).
3. What will you provide if they do want something long term?
4. How are you planning to offer them security? A hint might make a difference.
6. Why are you not dating women your own age?
5. I tell men what makes me hot- men want to know they will have a sustainable sex life- when I tell them what will make that happen, they know what they need to do and that generates a feeling of security in them.
6. You are telling women how to be and not to have high expectations- this may be a turnoff.
7. You are telling her how she has to -‘capture your attention’ “love to be kissed”- you are not telling her what you are going to do for her ….
Here is a good response to the same profile question:
“After reading comments from some of the women on this site, I realize I should add a few things. I’m not looking for “hook ups”. I’m sane (and want you to be too), honest, even-keeled, a very good communicator (both for public presentations and emotional one-on-ones), and I treat women (and men) with respect. I’m sorry that there seems to be so many guys out there that are giving guys a bad name. I’m not one of them. “
Zorah: It’s good because he is still telling about himself to see if it resonates. Not telling her how to be. Keep it simple. Look at the format of my profile. I use a pen name, but it is completely honest and you can tell, you believe it. I tell you what people say about me, and what part of that is important to me. I do not tell you who you are or who to be.
I’m hoping you fix your online dating profile to be more honest and sincere which should get you a better response rate. Reveal a deeper truth about yourself and your interests.
Whether you are a Seeker or a Millionaire, would you like me to review your profile and help you find more authentic and appropriate words that will reach your match?
If you are having great success, please share some of your secrets here.