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The Winding Road to Intimacy
  • Posted Sep 2, 2014

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We’ve all been there. Sitting, wishing, and sometimes even praying for relationships to happen. The first date, the first kiss, the first intimate encounter. Love and relationships are tricky. A new partner is like a new vehicle—you have an idea of the way things work, but you really don’t know how this particular model needs to be handled until you’ve hit the road. And unfortunately, relationships are much more complicated than cars.

In a world full of instinct gratification, we hold our relationships to the same expectation: we’re like Veruca Salt screaming “I WANT IT NOW!” The thought of going through a traditional courtship with someone can be exhausting just to contemplate. It can be intimidating and scary to invest an extended amount of time into something that may not ever come to full fruition.

While it is likely that you have seen many individuals rush full-force into new situations and find success, typically relationships do not perform to the same standard. It takes time to get to know someone on a personal level. Sure, you may know where your partner was born—heck, you may have even visited their hometown—but you may not fully understand their thought processes until the two of you have spent a significant amount of casual time together.

Cue Khloe and Lamar, the reality show where their entire 30-day courtship and marriage was documented by the E! Network.  While their life shown early on seemed blissful, it was only lust. The marriage failed, resulting in divorce. Khloe and Lamar did not know one another the way they might have thought.

There is only one safe way to guide yourself along the road to love, and that’s by obeying the speed limit. This speed is set by you. Move at the pace that feels comfortable to the situation that you’re in. Ignore the temptation to move at an accelerated pace on the relationship sweedway, as it will only result in a violation of the heart.  Really listen to a prospective partner, consider his or her background and anticipate what might be to come. The validation that occurs when one finally reaches the destination of love is unparalleled to any other.

What advice do you have for long-term relationship success?

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